It's Addictive

negatine @ 2007-11-08T22:07:00

2007-11-08T20:17:26Z

I see you've found my underground
So help yourself to guns and ammo
Nothing here has ever seen the light of day
I leave it in my head

yeah. yeah, that account is good.
Plastic girls called me "Пиздец" today. Z agreed. They turned pale as Z smiled. That cop by the door told us to get out after all. Z haven't managed to buy another pair of Grinders today as a conclusion. As Z was in company of that tourette's twitching guy and that shy girl who behaves like a retarded. And we decided to go shopping after the sunset 'cos we're idiots. It's the first day of the rest of your life. Z really like this track, 'cos you'll remember me for the rest of your life. If you see me. Z've checked out a lot, they really remember me, everyone who paid attention.
Z was left without my vanilla-flavoured mist smack today, what a pity. Now Z'm annoyed like Hell and kinda sick of it all. Moreover my ears hurt, Z dunno why. Maybe Z'll take another attempt when Z go deaf like Beethoven. it's the first day of the rest of my life.
Z used to hate all these fake-freaks who visit "special" shops with aromas smoked so you feel like you're gonna lose your conscience when you enter there. All of them are really fond of paulo coelho and all this standard shit that fucker likes to write. He writes that well-known shit to get paid, and these stupid sheeps buy it so he reaches his aims, in spite of me. Z've lost all of my aims. Z never had any aims, idiot. Aims
SUCK.
don't fuck it up.
don't fuck it up. you'll remember me for the rest of your life.

envy me, sheeps, 'cos

2007-11-06T21:41:50Z

I get paid while they starve
In the streets
Visa cards, vip
Wash away and use you as a fan
Starving these children
And I change the channel
You know me, I'm mr. nice
You know me I survive at any price
So it seems I'm the devil's son
Lick it, wet it, you like it, you let it
Lick it, wet it, touch it, take your turn
On somedays, together we can learn
Wash my soul, wash my soul, wash my soul
Lick it, wet it, you like it, you let it
Lick it, wet it, touch it, take your turn
On somedays, together we can learn
I've served with gangsters
And I've served with kings
These are a few of my favorite things
Think about love, love now and then
It's no good
I am weak, I admit
Wash my soul
Lick it, wet it, you like it, you let it
Lick it, wet it, touch it, take your turn
On somedays, together we can learn
Wash my soul, wash my soul
Lick it, wet it, you like it, you let it
Lick it, wet it, you like it, take your turn
Take your turn, take your turn
Together we can learn

copyright Adrian Thaws. the more u afraid, the more dirty u get, dirtier and dirtier, and you can take a shower for five hours twice a day, you can drown taking baths, but you're not able to wash this shit off. maybe that's the reason of my hostility towards sommersprossen. Nicole is pale and clean. not covered with dots. she's perfect.
of course it's better to be a sheep. you have your herd, your aims\orders and direction at least. the ones in the bottom can't invent such motivations. impregnable H and its substitutes, that synthetical shit. time impregnability. sucking your lobe shares away.
- How do you spell "holiday"?
- S-H-I-T.
and in between z drink black coffee. incorrigible daydreamer. z'm talking to the shadows one o'clock till four. since the blues caught my eye. z'm hanging out on mondays. but sunday dreams to dry. they say
z think z'll go and vomit. a little. z hope it will be blood there, as z haven't really got food to vomit with. for a while already.
z wanna a piano.
der angst und der zorn. gottes. um, z don't speak german. and french, and english. and russian. z just don't speak.
shut up, it's all z need to do. z'm too weak even to perform such a simple action.

Я давал тебе двадцать. А теперь у тебя сорок.

2007-11-06T09:18:45Z

to exs.
между Нами и Вами есть только три различия
1. Мы не немые;
2. Мы не немые;
3. Мы не глухие.

~печальный кот, летящий вниз~

ps. одиночество кошки
лапы след на окошке
рванный бантик забытый
тяжесть от молока

пустотелость коробки
запах из мышеловки
из парадной напротив
трель входного звонка

а вот это было давно и неправда. но в яблоч

shitty poems

2007-11-05T19:54:42Z

kick or treat
afrobeat
do z need
to leave this pit?
all z do is sit & spit
like lou reed, unlike brad pitt
teach me how to sleep and eat
'cos z'm out of all my wit
z do drugs but don't smoke weed
z don't even write or read
if u ask, z'll say "indeed"
after all, my words are shit.

z'm a git
in ur toolkit
all z need -
to hit
will smith
z don't think it's just a skit
'cos z'm really sick with greed
z've got rid
of rotten meat
z don't fit
so now z quit

boiling water

2007-11-05T00:19:07Z

Today's acquaintance scares the shit out of me. Not that girl herself, but the fact Z get conducted so easily. Too tired to enter my own scenario, too indifferent to refuse to play someone else's scenario. Yes, Z realize that it may be caused by my state, maybe Z shoud move things on opposite side, maybe some acceleration would pull me out of it, but it'll be unbearable for me physically. Z'll conduct myself clearly, Z'll be able to eradicate my latentness, but Z'll start losing my conscience in the streets. Maybe they get me hospitalized as Z'll lose even what's left of my weight and ability to stand. about this... this thing still likes me, though Z don't like it at all. Z lose my faith in it every new day, but Z start to kinda get on it again. Get on\get off. Get on\get off. Everything here sucks, so it seems more colourful, Z don't really know. Z feel just like an egg rolling to the edge of some table to fall down and finally get crashed.
Z realize she's hot and nice, nothing more. But she needs to walk me here and there
oh shit, fuck this emo in the ass.
Z guess Z know what to occupy myself with tonight.

I fuck you in the ass Just for a laugh

2007-11-03T14:37:05Z

After what you've had
That look on your face you rat

Good old mr. Adrian Thaws is awakening in my veins. I still think he is 4 real.
Sun is strawberry blond. She never gets enough of it in autumn. It's beautiful today, as the sky is clear. Airplanes draw white stripes on it. Seven nation army.
I continue to feel like старая нефункционирующая трансформаторная будка etc.
Dancing with the one-legged female human germ taller than me. Oh, shit, did you realize all this crap just now?
I'm out of cigarettes. And more, everything is in ni-ice bloodspots. I was so kind to sneeze, yeah. I'm almost out of my own blood, that's what I suspect. Who cares, when living that sweet vanilla-mist-lifestyle?

and then I woke up and shit
It's just a bad dream

just nod if u can hear me

2007-11-01T18:11:38Z

nosebleedz, huh

feel free to cut your neighbours. I think, i made another mistake. born to lose. I was able to touch the mirror pool again, i felt like старая нерабочая трансформаторная будка, стоящая зачем-то посреди небольшой посадки поздней весной в компании сочных зеленых кокетливых папоротников и хрупких берез, оплетенная ночной красавицей, темно-фиолетовой и притворно беззащитной, исписанная черным маркером одинокого трип-репортера, безвозвратно утерявшая свою табличку с надписью caution, служащая домом для стрекоз, бабочек и ос. now i feel like I'm in, и лучи заходящего солнца полосами освещают меня, проходя сквозь похожую на жалюзи пыльную и ржавую решетку. it smells like oranges. is there anybody out there behind my back? rats only. and the attic with toys. friendly rats and my mechanical crocodile, he's able to change his size. нерабочие приборы внутри напоминают игровые автоматы, и я бросаю в щелочки крышки от колы и пива. Иногда я выигрываю еще немного desolation and silence. the language mess inside my skull is killin me. I know I make many mistakes, I'm able to notice them but too lazy to correct. too lazy to live, but no no no no no no
I'm not sick, physically. At least I suppose so. Everything is okay with my hormones also. I'm that short because my mother was that short, I'm skinny because I'm an anorexia challenger and also I've happened to get thin noble bones. I'm ugly 'cos god never liked me, but I've got used to it already. Nobody makes me love god also, I don't deny his existance but kinda hesitating though. There were many psychos at the time the Bible was written, you know. Even koshka or me - we could write another nice Bible, but we wouldn't make such mistakes as author of the original Bible made. god's Wrath, though wrath is actually a deadly sin, and stuff. schyzos are easy to believe. they really have that power so you get excited with the show and try to understand, and then you find yourself to be almost serious towards those facts he just told you about, even if you already know he's a schyzo. now the ash is in this clipboard, how nice of me.
*continues his inarticulate mumble*

errr...

2007-11-01T02:04:42Z

спасибо вы все такие милые нет правда меня даже тошнит и нету такого языка который не остопиздил бы мне на все сто быть может индейский но я не способен совладать с желанием опуститься в очередной самый низ и писать на одном из отвратительных
спасибо вы все такие милые кавайные такие все (^_^) такие вот все так улыбаетесь заразительно смеетесь будто там динамик признавайтесь
там динамик
спасибо вы все такие милые в вашем избранном иззб
metadata
программа выполнила недопустимую операцию и будет закрыта.
cпасибо вы были столь милы что соблаговолили проследовать и заценить все великолепие мерилин монро бьорк мартины топли-берд кейт бланшетт николь кидман мэрил стрип гленн клоуз и иже с ними
вы понимаете

вот никогда вы нихуя не понимаете даже когда я изъясняюсь на русском эти сраные запятые самая отвратительная в мире штука скажу я вам вместе с прилагающимися к ним точками двоеточиями дефисами и ттире
да нахуй

fuck Frankie the goat.

2007-10-31T19:25:37Z

Hello, boys and girls. This is your old pal, Stinky Wizzleteats. This is a song about a whale. No! This is a song about being happy! That's right! It's the Happy Happy Joy Joy song!

I don't think you're happy enough! That's right! I'll teach you to be happy! I'll teach your grandmother to suck eggs! Now, boys and girls, let's try it again!

If'n you aint the grandaddy of all liars! The little critters of nature... They don't know that they're ugly! That's very funny, a fly marrying a bumblebee! I told you I'd shoot! But you didn't believe me! Why didn't you believe me?!

fulla little rusty gears

2007-10-30T01:45:34Z

ha-ha. (мрачно)
I'm unable to decide if it's good or bad as I never felt anything towards photos including myself. but portraits of this kind seem to annoy me.
that was a great day, and boundless fields were charming. I remember quite well. A... year ago? I think it's autumn. It felt like I was kissed by a dragonfly. I felt as calm as a full tiger, so I didn't even try to interfere Anne's taking a picture of me. I agree with people who say that it's not senseless that "shooting" with a shotgun and "shooting" with cameras sound the same. Anne's shot something in me, and I loose something more with every nose-bleed, so I'm sure one day I'll find myself to be out of myself. Can't change it though. I'll better go for a walk, as the sky is bright.

another time-spending review

2007-10-29T17:08:43Z

Yesterday evening, and all of us suddenly decided to take the invitation. That's how we found ourselves in some kind of home-made idiotism with annoyng music, noisy girls with coloured faces, who love to visit Liska in summer, that Crimean bay where all the weed lovers gather, there also is kinda crew - they name themselves растапанки, and all of this shit really makes me sick. All of them were wearing plastic smiles, dancing like a crowd of celluloide puppets, and we were sitting in the darkest corner with a bottle full of cogniack stolen by Koshka, suffering from hard headaches and making ideas about what do we actually do here. Then noise became much louder because all of these shitty rastamen and rastawomen proclaimed they have E. None of us was interested, they became unbearable after having comsumed it. I've suddenly felt that my temperature increases, I wanted to make a massacre there, but hadn't enough enthusiasm to perform that action so I sat staring at the dark window and slowly getting drunk, mixing beer with cogniack and smoking bad cigs.
- Hey, - quietly said Wolkoff, who sat to the right of me, as I've started to loose my conscience of boredom. - I wanna have real fun.
- Umm, - answered Marusetsky from the left of me. - Do you think of the same shit that I do?
- Exactly, - responded Wolkoff.
I felt a lack of will. I didn't even have enough enthusiasm to answer that I wanna\don't wanna go anywhere. I couldn't even decide if I wanted to. Absence devoured all of my feelings and I felt just like a movie camera again.
We didn't say anything to Lill, simply left to the nearest round-the-clock drugstore. It was damn cold outside, but the crystal night silence made me fall in love with every shadow and every street lantern we passed by without saying a word.
Drugstore woman refused to sell K to us. I wasn't surprised.
- YOU DON'T GET IT! - she shouted, that was a skinny blonde, not old, not young but kinda tall though. I liked the performance and smiled as I didn't care about her impressions. She took it as the help to her mission. - YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO YOURSELVES! LOOK, WHAT HAVE YOU ALREADY DONE! YOUR GIRLFRIEND HAS HER TEETH MISSING!
Laughing out loudly I left the drugstore. I wasn't going to tell stories about chicks with dicks, about my bad habit to sleep on the floor, about people, wearing damn shiny german boots encrusted with iron, about debts paying process and shit. I found myself hiding behind some sakura and talking in a loud voice to nowhere. Both of them watched me with surprised expression on their faces. They haven't managed to buy anything.
- Welly-welly-welly-welly-welly-welly-well. To what do I owe the extreme pleasure of this surprising visit? - I asked.
- Hi-hi-hi, mr. Deltoid! - suddenly responded Wolkoff as Koshka began to laugh.
We gathered all of our money. It was enough to buy another bottle of cogniack and we performed that action. In the main street of this district there were still enough people. We sat on the bench and drank without saying a word. I felt cold enough to loose my fingers' sensitivity, but still found the headlights to be delightful. I felt like it was Christmas. Then I said that I'm out of cigs and need to go buy some, to get rid of company of any kind. I had smokes though, so I went to the football field to watch stars as the sky was bright. When I got there, nobody was around, and Thom Yorke appeared in my ipod, and then I felt something wet to fall right on my nose. It was a snowflake. I congratulated myself with the first snow and went on walking.
I returned home in morning, I found it kinda amusing that my fingers do not bend anymore, but starting a cig became a torture in such circumstances. I had a high temperature, so I fell asleep and had a dream about zombies on attack. Well, I was married and we had two old creepy servants, they pretended they weren't zombies at all, but I noticed that they've almost lost their ability to walk. I told them so, and they started attacking. lj user gerrrta was also there for unknown reasons, she slept on the sofa. My wife was pouring boiled water right on my father's head, as he sat there silent like a doll. I took my baseball bat and started beating the shit out of gerrrta's head, she wasn't damaged at all, but kinda offended I wake her up in such extravagant way. She wasn't a zombie as I thought, she just got drunk last night and had a hang-over. I started kissing her in the kitchen. I saw a zombie behind her, had undertaken nothing to prevend gerrrta from dying, but zombie missed the attack as his head was blown off suddenly. It was my grandma, rip, she reloaded her shotgun and smiled to me.
Oh shit.

spuns spin da bottle today

2007-10-28T11:54:07Z

who's on duty today?
congratulations Red, you were able to be disgusting enough to get finally ignored. I can catch a breath here. The point is - the happiest feeling catches you when you get to know everybody hates you. You feel free as hell, you can dance rumba with zombies or commit suicide, or get hooked again, or spin your spinal cords, or kill people. It's just like fresh shower in summer. They're really able to make me kinda happy gappy hyper ghetto gangsta ghost. Few fevers flew by.

be agressive! be be agressive!

2007-10-28T08:40:46Z

don't you ever suppose me to be dead already, u shitty toothless freckled REDHEAD, yeah
Laying away I don't give a shit as Offspring like to repeat.

Язык,— заметил ученый 2222 года,— вечный источник знания. Как относятся друг к другу тяготение и время? Нет сомнения, что время так же относится к весу, как бремя к бесу. Но можно ли бесноваться под тяжелой ношей? Нет. Бремя поглощает силы беса. И там, где оно, его нет. Другими словами, время поглощает силы веса, и не исчезает ли вес там, где время? По духу вашего языка, время и вес — два разных поглощения одной и той же силы.
Он задумался.
— Да, в языке заложены многие истины.
На этом наше знакомство прервалось.

that's all that I want to say for today. I always liked Хлебников, и тебе советую.

I can still feel the rythm though John Lennon's already dead

2007-10-27T15:54:39Z

ex-gfs exhaust. I went out today, and - YEEEEEE-HAAAAA!!! - now I'm ready to close my eyes, now I'm ready to close my mind and bla-bla-bla. Spectator catches his breath, watching a pretty snowflake to land right on his eyelash. Fake tears you've got. Yeah, all of these rumba-dancing imbeciles can discuss problems of escapism, narcissism, distortions, diseases, disorders, dissonances, androgyne-looking people 24 hours per day. Alzheimer is their leader, shouting and twitching creepy fat old man listening to Tokio Hotel; he leads them to Death Gates, encrusted with ponytails and artificial butterfly-eyes. And that nervous kid, Gilles de la Tourette is Alzheimer's main enemy, he's standing there with wooden stringless Fender Strato and pretends to be Mexican. Kurt Cobain was never sick with Tourette's disorder, though he understood it perfectly. I know a Tourette's guy. Once we were heading to the West, I mean, we were crossing the Cosmonauts parkway, and patrol man stopped that guy and asked - Why are you twitching? Is that a thc-consumtion effect? I was hiding my smile, 'cos they luv to arrest me for no reason, bring to those buildings i-don't-remember-how-they're-called and ask questions and then set me free 'cos they have no evidences that I'm a murderer. That guy answered - if you know where to get such extraweed, tell me, guys. I never meant to be a magician, I just want to meet again that Corean girl I've got acquainted with while working at the market. They're not really Corean there, they've got Corean roots, but they're born here and they prepare all that corean food and then sell it, they smell like chili peppers and caraway seeds, and they always look mean when smiling. Schizophasia is my queen for today. The self-destruction period is our guest again, tell me how to put that iron thingie back to cow's lungs and I'll share with you my ideas about visiting the Primadonna. We once made out after Primadonna crossed the sea of motor oil to feel lighter.
I was never so fond with Alice Cooper, but today I assept. I well-cum to his nightmare, thanx. I think Black Sabbath - Black Sabbath is on duty today though.

negatine @ 2007-10-27T00:43:00

2007-10-26T21:52:50Z

seems like I own the negatine undividedly now. It's like you, guys. You start.
I just wanna stick into Fleur Blanche from Lille France. I bet she wouldn't agree with such a naughty idea of mine. Neither she nor I care, though.

see that? that's my wife. no, I've lost her somewhere in Texas. Fifty years ago/start over. arrrrgh. there are nice creatures on the walls. If I leave this building tomorrow, I think I'll get laconic as hell again. The remission is over, and I really feel that tomorrow won't be as rainy as today. I'm goin to frighten people again. Invisible fingers continue to scratch my nape. It's necessary to leave the building tomorrow.

negatine @ 2007-10-26T17:56:00

2007-10-26T15:09:44Z

no romance left. no no romance left. no romromance leleleleft. romance is dead. dedededead. Miguel was able to dodge\unable to dodge. Ununableable tto dodge. This sucks sucks, as eveverything, and I miss the feeling that I miss something. I like girls girls down there, on the trainstations. They're wet wet standing so lonelonely in the rain. Bite your neck neck. Thathat's it. I'm ofoff. Somebodybody. Geget me a a score score. Plasplastic brain is goin to melt melt dodown. temtemperature is too hihigh. S o
i s t i l l n e e d i t t o l e a v e t h e t r a i n. f u c k i n g e s c a p i s t. y o u ' r e f r e e t o c a l l m e a s y o u w i s h. y o u m a y c a l l m e s u s a n n e i f y o u g e t m e a s c o r e/ i t ' s r a i n y o u t s i d e a n d i s u f f e r f r o m a n o t h e r f e v e r i l i ke to g e t i t on w i th e v e r y f u c k i n g c o c k t o b e r i n n o v e m b e r.
"The Remission" - FIN.
disconnected.

i promised him poems

2007-10-25T17:55:34Z

im an ape
been shot to the nape
silly kissers
wrestling wristles
tight holding thighs
whispering lights
I'm a great messenger
Anorexia challenger
I'm a rat going mad
a redhead playing dead
i'm a senseless vagrant
and I lie on the ground
I vomit on brats
an my scull has got cracks
I'm in need
of something indeed
I'm making deals
I vomit on meals
Bat-beaten bet
I'm bitten by bat
And it's still feeling great
I'm not able to wait
I never gave a fuck
If they're really stuck
If they rock or suck
I feel like a duck
I'm impregnable candle
With no gun to handle
I'm disgusting
Creepy and rusty
Addictive like heroin
You're going to mellow in
Things getting worse
Never fuck with my corpse.

negatine @ 2007-10-25T17:59:00

2007-10-25T15:24:58Z

hey, you. being depressed sucks.
I meant WROOM! GRAAAWL!
My nicotine addiction is incurable, 'cos I was a passive smoker since I was born. My mother used to smoke a lot, her men also smoked a lot, moreover, my granny was a real chainsmoker. she used to smoke a pack of awful bulgarian cigs per day, "DOINA" they were, they used to cost twenty cent, and she always asked me to buy some on returning from school. I rowed with all the sellers, they never trusted me when I was trying to explain that I'm not going to smoke these. that old woman was perhaps the only positive character of my childhood. Aunt Alla also, though I didn't think of her as of a kind woman, but as of a sexy woman. She married some american and left to USA, I suppose.
These people who visited us never liked Edith Piaf. They made us turn her off, though I was really into her when I was seven or eight. Also nobody allowed me to touch the piano when we were visiting other people. I wasn't going to break it, stupid sheep didn't get my admiration by Chopin, Beethoven and Mozart.
sunflowers. Do you know that they don't sell sunflowers nowhere in Odessa? I do, 'cos I was trying to sell them while working there. They refused.
I want to make friends with Avercamp. And pretend to be mute. I wanna look like chewbacca and rape little girls in this rainy gloaming. I wanna act like in Bradburys "October Game" on Helloween. I wanna feel like a cheerful chainsaw again. I wanna see a french porno movie with Edith guest starring. Also, I wanna award Beethoven - he never knew that he was so famous. He was afraid of being deaf. he became deaf because he liked to listen too much. what, did Avercamp like Beethoven? he was deaf. People used to tease him "Mute".
Just look at it. The bestest winter I've ever seen. This light. This sky. This mood. He was Dutch. I really like.

jack-in-the-box, наш любимы бредбере.

2007-10-24T17:33:10Z

Я умер, я умер, я счастлив, что я умер, как хорошо быть мертвым!

ahhh, guyz, you're so sneaky.

2007-10-23T14:47:27Z

okay. I'll continue on my own. I have three accounts at present, all they work fine. no. no, I'm not gay.

standing there, on that autumn-entouraged road you feel like you're a tombstone thrown to another dimension and flying to nowhere. Desolation's sugar-free. it smells like cinnamon with a bit of menthol and chili peppers. I can hear all the leaves to fall. I'm so stupid. 100%, not 30. A little bit too much self-sufficient imbecile kid, a longhaired natural redhead that people jump aside from, a chainsmoker, sad and pissed off, pretending to be the calmest person ever, like ex-sheriffs use to be. getting too agressive when somebody pulls his leg, or makes fun of his sommersprossen, or says things about visiting the dentist, or talks with loud hysterical voice, or judges junkies (what a rythm), or pretends to be a great prodigy with no real basics, or corrects my mistakes in english, especially speech, or bothers me with discussing things I don't know or like, or simply messes around. yeah, I do actually find people to be ANNOYING LIKE HELL. As I said before, this time'll come, and I'll ride an iron horse instead wooden, and I'll shoot bursts with a battle-axe, wearing a black moustache, shouting YEEEEEEE-HHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!!! I won't be so surprised if it'll be one of many causes of that famouse Apocalypse everybody likes to discuss so much. Now I wanna consume a round. And go for a walk. And dissolve myself in coctober. And maybe stick my dick into someone. It's so easy to get on when you're a freak. The uglier you are - the more exotic they find you to be. there they are, the consequences of Chernobyl catastrophe. Women started liking (licking) people like me, because all of them have broken brains. Stereotypical... Everything is stereotypical - but that's okay. Every claim to be original makes me vomit on rats. You can't do anything new, you can just redo something better than anyone else who also redoes it. It's a pity that you can't really undo.
the резонерство I'm doing now makes me suffer from nausea. Geez, anorexia makes people do such things and even worse things. Can do nothing with it - I've got no guts, just gun in gear.
heheh/heheh.

negatine @ 2007-10-23T12:38:00

2007-10-23T09:46:42Z

today I'm going to pretend to be the Blind Judge. At least I've lost one soldier. But that was a bad soldier. The one that can't even handle a gun is a really bad soldier. Hey, mr. Jack. All that we need to do - to get rid of all those CDs, all those shitty arctic monkeys and fuckin Casabian. all this shit and no play make Jack a dull boy, you know.
Hello there, mrs. Nausea.

negatine @ 2007-10-21T22:53:00

2007-10-21T19:53:59Z

i felt much calmer having left the building. streetlights were teasing me, I had a strong illusion that my eyes were cytric and shined in the dark. I felt like a french novelist, hiding a vampire in folds of his autumn seasoned coat. Hiding a schizo under his french cuffs. I entered a small shop beside the place I live.
- black stones, please, - i asked as that tired woman got herself ready to serve.
- what? - she asked in grey and thin voice of a typical saleswoman.
- the black stones. the cigarettes.
- there are no such cigarettes, - she answered, getting nervous by unknown reasons. - they just do not exist, girl.
as she mixed me up with a girl I felt bored. an another unsatisfied psycho hiding my smokes.
- okay, - I said. - a chick with dick asks you to sell one marlboro. and - no change, please.

It's a beautiful weather outside, guys. I think the mist has found a shelter inside my lungs.

negatine @ 2007-10-21T20:10:00

2007-10-21T17:13:13Z

Ирена Понарошку - мой кумир. каждый раз, как она попадает в мое поле зрения, я не могу удержаться и не повозить по ней валиком. каждый раз мое подсознание гложет скромная надежда, что однажды я сотру все границы в общении с Иреной Понарошку.
А потом и сама Ирена Понарошку сотрется. и передо мной будет синий экран с надписью "Еще?"
ахх, солдаты.

знаеш што

2007-10-21T15:42:16Z

дело не в том де правда, де лош, де аглобля а де делижанс, а де парабеллум.
дело в том, што ани савершенна глухие.
ето и есть самая сука страшное. ани все апсалютна глухие. Ани умеют толька га-ва-рить. и пездец. тока пездеть. нихуя неслышат, вне зависемасте ат смыславой нагруске, эмацыанальнава акраса и степини яраснасти, с каторай ты абращяешся к ним. есле ты инагда савсем уш навясчев, ани гаварят с панемающем видам - ето нада личить...
личиле ужэ. блядские тваре.
блядские глухие тваре.
падзеленку все, суки. на калени.
пиздаватые балтливые мудаки.

negatine @ 2007-10-20T22:21:00

2007-10-20T19:35:48Z

what do you think you're doing? daydreaming?
Just look up to a thousand of little grey mice running through my veins, Dear, and try to imagine that i don't have blood, but them diving in all that ether I used to consume, and that I don't have brain but an army of little red monkeys knocking at walls, starving and fighting. No, it doesn't. No, I don't. No, he'll not understand. Don't tell me you''ll also miss the whole thing.

stares stupidly, trying to pretend to be loved. The most tiresome deed.
Why can't he just look through it and accept it? 'cos he's just flat. 2d style. he can't do it as I do it, or you do it. And he doesn't understand, and gets angry - it reminds him that he's just stupid alcoholic love-failed lonely asshole.
Her, that woman with small eyes and awful white hair? i already said that. 'cos she wants to become a star and get proves of her delightfulness. though she's got a bf, and that stupid asshole as her fan. She doesn't know how to give. maybe she takes gracefully, I dunno. I don't like her, and I never did.

The only one, the pirate teen, she was really great. She was pretending towards me, I was doing it towards her, and somehow we entered the way where everything was good for some time. Of course it can't be long. and all that I can say is thanks. There are more than fifty people from past in my CL. ones want to say that I suck, because they are offended by my messing with their minds, others say that I'm cool because the whole thing was cool. All of them, just a herd, that doesn't git when I ask it to git.
I don't wanna stand on that terrible eminence anymore
somebody, just FUCKING GET ME OUT OF HERE